This blog is dedicated to Tracy Swindell, one of my lovely participants in my Confidence on Camera course.
After an exhilarating week rich in interaction in new projects and hope, one morning I ended up on my kitchen floor in a flood of tears. Following on from my last blog, called Even confidence coaches have their wobbly moments, another wobble descended upon me and again I decided to reflect on it and share it with you.
Allow yourself to feel the pain. Feeling the feelings is perfectly allowed. It makes us human.
I wanted to stop the tears. As if they were bad. I also wanted to keep quiet. Then in the middle of it, I thought if you need to cry, you may as well go for it and somehow I laughed at myself and carried on sobbing. Tears have a cathartic effect and once I had calmed down, I thought I have two ways of dealing with this. I can continue to feel sorry for myself all day and therefore upset myself and others all day or I can think “What can I learn from it?” “Why am I so emotional this morning?”
What is going on? Is it pure exhaustion? Or are there other things that you have repressed?
- Sort out your unfinished business. I have a noisy tenant at the moment and I am going to give him notice but I want to do it in a correct manner. At this point, I’m waiting a few days to tell him and it’s eating me up, but I have to wait. If you can not do anything about it then, go and keep yourself occupied in something different to keep your mind away from what the problem is.
- I feel that when I am attached to an outcome, for example a few backs I had put together my next confidence on camera course (which is being taking place at the moment) but I needed participants so I was a bit too sensitive. Be committed to your outcome but not attached to it. The world is not going to stop if I do not run the course, by the way I already had 5 people, but I needed 12 people so what was the problem?
- I am over doing it – over is a word I ought to ban from my vocabulary, I have banned some other words from my vocabulary, like the word problem so what about rubbing it off? Or are the words, “very high expectations” of myself that I should change or rub off?
- I am exhausted – going to bed too late and getting up too early partly because of the noise from above and partly due to my busy mind.
- Re-engage with your inner child. Now since starting this blog, I have been on an exhilarating weekend playing the fool at a theatre improvisation drama workshop. I laughed all weekend, danced and played and I feel as light as a feather. Play is one big solution!
- Talk it through:
Regarding my lodger, I phoned him, he came round the following day, we had a good heart to heart conversation and found a compromise and so far so good!
Life is full of interesting discoveries. This is fab!
What wobbles have you had lately that you can share with us?
Please comment under the blog!
Helene is a dreamer, a poet, a trainer, a coach, an author, a mother, a daughter. She is passionate about helping others overcome their fears of speaking, in meetings, in social situations, in public and to speak up. She will help you to shape a presentation and to practice so that you can be your authentic self and speak from the heart. She can help you overcome the blocks which prevent you from embracing life fully professionally and personally.
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“I really enjoyed the group work and Helene’s style. I like the idea of knowing I work well with a visual cue: anchor. Good to be reminded of the circle of assurance, I did use it after! The group is feeling like we’re all working for each other, great. Like the idea of standing when presenting, will work on this. All very supportive and helping me. I enjoyed connecting with the group, focusing on my ideal client and the breathing exercises. Good to be reminded of ‘making myself bigger’ it helps so much with the confidence. Gill Clark, Gill’s Health Hub – Homeopathy.
See what Tracy has to say here.