Chelmsford, Essex

Be Yourself! Everybody Else Is Taken

This is an extract of my book, The Power of Outrageous expression and I enclose a reading I did from the book.


I want to talk about something that might sound very strange because it should be obvious.  It’s being yourself.  I will use a quote allegedly from Oscar Wilde,

“Be yourself, everybody else is taken.”

I love the tongue in cheek quality of this rather outrageous statement but it summarises my outlook on life.

What do you mean, being yourself?  We are what we are, can we be anything else but being ourselves? To the outside eye, yes, we are. We have a name, a place of origin, of living, a car, or not, some possessions or not a lot. We are born, we live and we die. That is very simple and it is the cycle of life. From the time of our birth,  we are conditioned by two things, genes and society including family. Somehow we cannot do anything about either.  Being yourself is about not being dependant and stuck with our genes and society but embracing fully both of these entities, on our own terms.

When I start talking about being yourself, I am asking you, then, to make abstraction of genes or society and to fully embrace who you are in the deep core of your individuality.  YOU can only be yourself  if you feel a deep sense of identity and fulfilment at the core of your being. I believe that, a lot of us only scratch the surface in terms of that fulfilment and live lives which are only half lived. It does not have to be that way. YOU and YOU alone can start a journey to find yourself

In order to do that,  YOUR first step is to acknowledge your own uniqueness. You are the only person like YOU on the planet. You are different from anyone else, even if you’ve got a twin, you  are two different individuals,  with your funny face, your quirkiness, your accent, your background, your hand gestures, your pompous phrases, your silly smile.

On a trip, years ago with my first partner, I was rather depressed and I remember comparing myself to an ant in an ants’ colony and actually seeing myself as a person whose existence was small and not important, as I could be easily be replaced by another hard working ant, stuck in repeated patterns of behaviours. My partner had a much more positive view of himself, he saw himself as a strong bull ready for anything!

It is therefore extremely important to acknowledge who you are. If you have a soft voice, you will bring a softness and gentleness to your expression.  If you are quite scatty, that is how you are going to interact with people.  There is nothing wrong with the way you are. Tall, short, big or thin, black, white, yellow, colours of the rainbow – sorry just joking – you ARE just  fine. You are just YOU.

Better you are special and unique.  One and only.

Tip of the day to find your own self: acknowledge your achievements

  • Find an achievement of yours that you are proud of. Even if it small to you, it may be big to others so do not undermine your small or larger achievements.  What about starting with, being kind? to yourself and others!

Please comment below if you liked this post. Thank you.

This blog is an extract of  The Power of Outrageous Expression. You can get hold a full copy of Helene’s book here.

Love Helene

Helene is a dreamer, a poet, a trainer, a coach, an author, a mother, a daughter.  She is passionate about helping others overcome their fears of speaking, in meetings, in social situations, in public and to speak up. She will help you to shape a presentation and to practice so that you can be your authentic self and speak from the heart.  She can help you overcome the blocks which prevent you from embracing life fully professionally and personally.

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“I really enjoyed the group work and Helene’s style. I like the idea of knowing I work well with a visual cue: anchor. Good to be reminded of the circle of assurance, I did use it after! The group is feeling like we’re all working for each other, great. Like the idea of standing when presenting, will work on this. All very supportive and helping me. I enjoyed connecting with the group, focusing on my ideal client and the breathing exercises. Good to be reminded of ‘making myself bigger’ it helps so much with the confidence.  Gill Clark, Gill’s Health Hub – Homeopathy.

See what Tracy has to say here.


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